She adds that she always “hated” the surname she inherited from her father, which included profanity for which she was teased at school. “I didn’t want to be associated with it,” she says.
Changing her last name to match her mother’s was a relief, and Maggie says she now feels “more like herself.”
“I wanted to be part of my mom’s family,” she says.
Dr. Becca Bland, a family counselor and coach who specializes in estrangement, says people who are estranged or estranged may decide to change their last name as a psychological defense mechanism to “help you separate yourself from something that may be problematic or traumatic.”
She says changing their name will mean they won’t have to repeat a surname that they may associate with bad memories or that they feel ties them to a family they don’t identify with.
People who are separated from their parents may experience a range of emotions, including grief, loss and a sense of freedom, says Dr Lucy Blake from the University of the West of England, whose research focuses on family relationships. It can be an isolating experience because people are afraid of facing judgment from others, she said.
Blake rejected criticism that some young people cut ties with relatives “without much thought”. Research shows that adults who distance themselves from relatives often do so “with great care and consideration over time,” she says.
If people want to change their names in England and Wales, they have two options. A cheaper option is an unregistered survey that a person can conduct on their own or through a private company for a fee. You can also change it by registered document poll, meaning there is a public record of it, through the High Court for £53.05 ($71).
If you were born or adopted in Northern Irelandexternalyou can change your name by poll or register your name change in the presence of a legal representative, which costs £35.
If you were born or adopted in Scotland, you can change your name by submitting an application to the National Register of Scotland.externalwhich costs £40.
Changing your last name may pose some difficulties.
In England, Wales and Scotland, if you are under 16 years of age, you need consent.external everyone who has parental responsibility for you.
Maggie says she waited until she was 16 to make the change, and then she didn’t need her father’s consent.
“It was so frustrating when I was so sure that this is what I wanted to do,” she says.
You will also need to tell government agencies and companies including the Passport Office, the DVLA, your student loan company, your banks and your GP.
For Hannah, from California, changing her last name took about three months and cost her hundreds of dollars, including a $400 registration fee and $130 for advertising in the local newspaper. She called the latter requirement “so outdated and strange.”